Bluemoonbaby

Image from Mosie Baby website On the sixth month of ttc desperation I started to look for anything to make the journey shorter. I researched my ass off and found some people use at home self insemination kits. They simply use their devices to swoop up the sperm and place it where it needs to be. Simple! Plus if I'm honest, the very frequent sex was beginning to get a bit boring. The fun and spontaneity had truly gone, it was a chore at times. A self insemination kit seemed like the easy solution for getting our sanity and sex life back while also still trying for a baby. So I did what any millennial does best, I googled the shit out of it. I saw some people used turkey basters, despite having one in the kitchen draw I decided this wasn't for  me. The thought of shoving a kitchen utensil up myself just wasn't appealing. The whole self insemination thing was strange enough on it's own for me.  I then found that some people also thought the turkey baster w...

These past few weeks have been about celebrating turning 29 and getting back into the flow of working life. Something has shifted within me since my 29th birthday, and I'm not quite sure what it is. The week before my birthday I was filled with this immense feeling of happiness and gratitude for my life. I felt free, excited and happy where I am at. Children didn't effect me, going to a park didn't shift my mood. I hope it's here to stay. I keep having dreams about being pregnant lately or having a baby. The other day in my dream we had a one year old girl who was so adorable. I was carrying her around our home, which in my dream wasn't our home that we're in now, and just smiling. I asked my husband where we got her from, "Did we adopt her? Did I give birth to her?" I asked him, he was just as puzzled as I was. I took care of her, bathed her before bed time and carefully styled her black hair into ponytails. It was a surreal dream. Last night I dr...

As I sit here approaching my 29th year on this Earth I can't help but reflect on the time that has passed. Someone once told me your twenties are the years for making mistakes. I definitely took that on board, I made some really fun mistakes and learned from every single one. It's mad how much your twenties shape you and change your life. When I first turned 20 I got a real job working in childcare. I was a young 20, lived at home still and knew nothing about the real world. I hated my job, I left after six months and applied to university. When I turned 21 I moved up North to study Early Years, it was my first time living away from home. I learned so much about myself and grew as a person.  I thought I'd take some time to reflect on my twenties and my own personal journey through what have been the most incredible years of my life thus far. Over the years I have had many dates, had a few serious boyfriends and gotten engaged and married. Friends have come, gone out with ...

I know quite a few people in the infertile community who work with children. Teachers, nursery practitioners, teaching assistants that all find it at times hard. I myself also work with children, and I think this can cause emotional stress and upset during my down days. One time in a forum I shared my struggles on someone's post, and I was shut down by them. They said they just feel thankful to see other people's children and blessed to be in their presence which is lovely. However, it is not how many of us feel especially when we are surrounded by the one thing we long  for the most. I think the most important thing we can do is support each other and not shame each other for the struggles we are going through. Luckily, I had a lot of support from the same forum from others who found it hard, and many of those are women who work with children. One person will find IVF and the thought of having IVF a breeze. One person might hate the thought of IVF and be reading up on everyt...

So my IVF doctor is currently on holiday, selfish! Jk obviously she's allowed to have a life. Just annoying having to wait until she's back to start things up. While I'm enjoying the break of things being shoved up my vagina, I'm now ready to tackle this shit head on. I've been patient and waited, and I know I've got to wait some more but I don't wanna waaaaa. Sorry for my tantrum. Anyway, new year new me right!?! Maybe even...a new life? Growing inside my womb which I created naturally? Good joke me, good joke. I'm going to boss this IVF shiz, I'm going after it.  I'm 29 this month, crazy times. I really thought I'd be preggers and have had a baby by 29 but ha at me right?!??! I'm looking forward to being another year older and all the more wiser with what I've gone through. Love, Blue moon girl x