Embryo Transfer Trial
It feels good to be back. I've missed connecting with you all and sharing mine and my husbands journey with you. I've decided to continue blogging. I am also writing this quite hungover. Haters gonna hate!
So, not long ago now we had to go in for an embryo transfer trial. This is basically the embryo transfer done with some solution. The technician presses down on your stomach with the ultrasound, this is fun because your bladder is full, then the doctor tries to push a catheter through your cervix to place the embryo.
Not everyone has to have a trial of this, but I'm special! I have a scarred cervix due to a lletz procedure I had done a while ago. The doctor suggested we do this to just make sure since my HSG was such a massive flop.
A few days before the trial we had our information counselling. This is where they talk through IVF in detail with you. They show you a little flip chart of how things should go, what drugs to take, when to take them etc. They also talk about how things could go wrong and what would happen in that case. We listened, I made notes and took photos of the flip chart, I wasn't going to fail this assignment. Then she said we could start in two weeks, and it was the happiest we had felt in a long time. We booked our trial for a few days later and went off on our merry way trying to digest all the information.
The day arrived, I was asked to have a full bladder for the procedure. Our hospital is a 40 minute drive from where we are. I drank the water in the car and felt fine, until we arrived. I was desperate for a wee, I paced the hall making crazy eyes at nurses. Announcing to the waiting room "I am literally going to piss myself." It was actually painful holding it in. Finally, my doctor arrived and told me to let some out to be more comfortable. I have never enjoyed a wee more in my life.
The trial started, My husband was in the room with me looking concerned as they strapped my legs into the hold. The nurse had a stern voice asking me to scoot lower a few times. The doctor talked us through the procedure getting out the equipment. My husband's eyes widened, I was use to this but he sure wasn't. The doctor carefully tried a few different catheters as I focussed my breathing. My husband panicked as each one was inserted nervously saying "focus on your yoga breathing." It didn't help when I would flinch in pain either I guess. Then it happened again, he just couldn't get through. He explained our IVF cycle would have to be cancelled while they came up with a plan. Tears rolled down my face.
The doctor gave us some time, at first I couldn't look my husband in the face. I ran to the loo, because that's all you can think about with a full bladder. Then I came back and we cried. I kept saying "I'm sorry." I felt like it was my fault, and he kept saying "It's not your fault." I know it isn't really my fault, I had to have the surgery, but as a woman the instant thing you feel is guilt.
After a little time, we went into the doctors office. He explained that my endometriosis was growing out of my cervix and the scar from my lletz is not letting anything pass. He was surprised that I had periods, I did explain that they were incredibly painful. So now we wait for my endometriosis to be treated before we go on to the next steps.
After pretty much crying for 4 days straight, this week I feel like I have finally accepted the path I need to go on. I need to be well for the IVF to work. This road is never straight, there's so many ups and downs. I kept saying "I don't know how much longer I can do this." Yet I keep going. I have so many people that support me. This journey does show you who is true to you and there for you as a couple. It's been a wild ride, and it's far from over.
All my love,
Blue moon girl x
So, not long ago now we had to go in for an embryo transfer trial. This is basically the embryo transfer done with some solution. The technician presses down on your stomach with the ultrasound, this is fun because your bladder is full, then the doctor tries to push a catheter through your cervix to place the embryo.
Not everyone has to have a trial of this, but I'm special! I have a scarred cervix due to a lletz procedure I had done a while ago. The doctor suggested we do this to just make sure since my HSG was such a massive flop.
Waiting, again:
A few days before the trial we had our information counselling. This is where they talk through IVF in detail with you. They show you a little flip chart of how things should go, what drugs to take, when to take them etc. They also talk about how things could go wrong and what would happen in that case. We listened, I made notes and took photos of the flip chart, I wasn't going to fail this assignment. Then she said we could start in two weeks, and it was the happiest we had felt in a long time. We booked our trial for a few days later and went off on our merry way trying to digest all the information.
The day arrived, I was asked to have a full bladder for the procedure. Our hospital is a 40 minute drive from where we are. I drank the water in the car and felt fine, until we arrived. I was desperate for a wee, I paced the hall making crazy eyes at nurses. Announcing to the waiting room "I am literally going to piss myself." It was actually painful holding it in. Finally, my doctor arrived and told me to let some out to be more comfortable. I have never enjoyed a wee more in my life.
The trial started, My husband was in the room with me looking concerned as they strapped my legs into the hold. The nurse had a stern voice asking me to scoot lower a few times. The doctor talked us through the procedure getting out the equipment. My husband's eyes widened, I was use to this but he sure wasn't. The doctor carefully tried a few different catheters as I focussed my breathing. My husband panicked as each one was inserted nervously saying "focus on your yoga breathing." It didn't help when I would flinch in pain either I guess. Then it happened again, he just couldn't get through. He explained our IVF cycle would have to be cancelled while they came up with a plan. Tears rolled down my face.
The doctor gave us some time, at first I couldn't look my husband in the face. I ran to the loo, because that's all you can think about with a full bladder. Then I came back and we cried. I kept saying "I'm sorry." I felt like it was my fault, and he kept saying "It's not your fault." I know it isn't really my fault, I had to have the surgery, but as a woman the instant thing you feel is guilt.
Doctor, doctor, give me the news:
After a little time, we went into the doctors office. He explained that my endometriosis was growing out of my cervix and the scar from my lletz is not letting anything pass. He was surprised that I had periods, I did explain that they were incredibly painful. So now we wait for my endometriosis to be treated before we go on to the next steps.
Thoughts:
After pretty much crying for 4 days straight, this week I feel like I have finally accepted the path I need to go on. I need to be well for the IVF to work. This road is never straight, there's so many ups and downs. I kept saying "I don't know how much longer I can do this." Yet I keep going. I have so many people that support me. This journey does show you who is true to you and there for you as a couple. It's been a wild ride, and it's far from over.
All my love,
Blue moon girl x
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