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Showing posts from November, 2018

A letter to Santa

Dear Santa, I must admit, I am not a long time writer to you. I don't think I ever wrote you a letter, even as a child I was sceptical of your existence. I guess I had never wanted anything that much that compelled me to write to you. You see, times have changed and I am hoping you could help us.  What I want for Christmas can't be kept in a neatly wrapped box, unless you want social services involved. The stork that usually delivers these gifts got lost and couldn't find our address. The stars we wished upon have faded to answer another prayer. Offerings to the Gods have been blown by the wind to other places. No, what we long for can't be bought at John Lewis or any other retailer. Though it could probably be bought through the black market, but we want to avoid that route.  You see Santa, or do you prefer Saint Nick? What we long for is a baby. A healthy lovely baby to call our own. I understand this is a big ask as you're very busy this time of year, but i

The glory days

My first three months of ttcing 'properly' were filled with a joyful glee. I'd wee on my little stick every morning, wait for the results, drink my coffee and announce to my husband what was going on. We'd try once in the morning and time it over the next few days, surrounded in a bubble of excitement and hope. I'd shower my nieces and nephews with affection when I'd see them and coo at strangers babies. I'd immediately get tips from my pregnant Mum friends and listen delighted. If it didn't work, oh well it never does this quickly for anyone, there's always next month. Then we'd maybe catch a late night show on TV or go out to our fave spot for dinner. I vowed never to be one of those people who were envious of pregnant people or Mums, they're all miracles and my time would come.  Six months in, I'm yelling at my husband "Come on it says it's a peak day we need to do it now or it won't happen I can't do that again. My

Allow me to introduce myself...

 I am a fairly normal 28 year old woman living in a small town in England. My life I'd say is pretty standard for what I expected, I'm married with two dogs and a house. I like walks by the lakes and drinking coffee...and sounding like a dating profile apparently.  You see, my life didn't all turn out exactly as I'd have liked it to. There's been challenges along the way that have been overcome head on. Things I could fix, problems I could solve by being the pro active can do kinda girl I am. This, however knocked me for six. It would seem we can't get pregnant naturally.  Let's take a few steps back, to age 12 when I started my first period. My periods were always incredibly painful, so much so at the age of 14  I was taken to the doctors. A year or so later, the doctor suggested I could have endometriosis. The condition where the lining grows outside of your womb. My Mum at the time dismissed it, declaring I was too young and not to worry too much abou