Bluemoonbaby

It feels good to be back. I've missed connecting with you all and sharing mine and my husbands journey with you. I've decided to continue blogging. I am also writing this quite hungover. Haters gonna hate! So, not long ago now we had to go in for an embryo transfer trial. This is basically the embryo transfer done with some solution. The technician presses down on your stomach with the ultrasound, this is fun because your bladder is full, then the doctor tries to push a catheter through your cervix to place the embryo. Not everyone has to have a trial of this, but I'm special! I have a scarred cervix due to a lletz  procedure I had done a while ago. The doctor suggested we do this to just make sure since my HSG was such a massive flop. Waiting, again: A few days before the trial we had our information counselling. This is where they talk through IVF in detail with you. They show you a little flip chart of how things should go, what drugs to take, when to take them

Since someone has decided to share this blog with my Mother who I did not want to worry with this I'm not sure if this is a safe platform for me to write on. I will be mainly writing on Instagram which I will also make private. It's  a real shame people feel the need to do things like this. This person has taken away the one platform I had to connect and be honest and open about my feelings. This is what is most painful to me. Just because I choose to talk to others about my feelings including friends it does not mean I am going through this alone. It is very painful for me that this has happened. My safe place now feels unsafe. There will hopefully be a new blog and location coming soon, love, Blue moon girl

Next week is our information counselling, I believe this is the step right before or start of the whole IVF cycle. I don't really know what to expect,  but from what I've read they will talk us through in detail about it all and what we need to do. I am shitting it. Every time we have an appointment, something has gone wrong or we have had a set back. I am so nervous for this to be the case again. I haven't been great lately, not sleeping much and eating very little. Every time I have tried to eat a proper meal this week I have felt like throwing up. I do suffer with anxiety, and this is a really anxious time for me. I am so scared too walk in and for them to say "Sorry, we have to abandon this cycle." Or "We can do it we just need to do another op." I can't handle anymore set backs on my journey to my baby.  Also, I am still working full time with children even though I have requested to reduce my hours. There are tons of germs and illnesses fly