Allow me to introduce myself...
I am a fairly normal 28 year old woman living in a small town in England. My life I'd say is pretty standard for what I expected, I'm married with two dogs and a house. I like walks by the lakes and drinking coffee...and sounding like a dating profile apparently.
You see, my life didn't all turn out exactly as I'd have liked it to. There's been challenges along the way that have been overcome head on. Things I could fix, problems I could solve by being the pro active can do kinda girl I am. This, however knocked me for six. It would seem we can't get pregnant naturally.
Let's take a few steps back, to age 12 when I started my first period. My periods were always incredibly painful, so much so at the age of 14 I was taken to the doctors. A year or so later, the doctor suggested I could have endometriosis. The condition where the lining grows outside of your womb. My Mum at the time dismissed it, declaring I was too young and not to worry too much about it. So, I took the advice and just coped with my period thinking this is how they're meant to be.
Years later after some seriously dodgy results from a smear, I had to have part of my cervix removed at the age of 25. The nurses asked "Didn't you ever bleed randomly? Have pain during sex?" I said yes to all the above, but over the years doctors had turned me away or shoved more birth control at me. I had made the conscious effort to stay off birth control from the age of 22 as hormones do not agree with me at all. Every time I would go to the doctors, they'd literally try and force hormones down my throat. "If you just took the pill you'd feel better." I knew the pill had just been masking what was going on.
When I stopped the pill, my life changed for the better. I was better mentally, happier and a lot less anxious. I had lost weight and the best part was my migraines had stopped. Whenever I mentioned the random bleeds in between cycles or pain during sex it was shrugged off. I was told this was "normal." It's not, just so you know.
Years on the fairy tale began, I got married to a wonderful man at the age of 27 and we began our lives together. We did all the classic things newlyweds did, we went on our mini honeymoon to Portugal donning cringe worthy 'hubby' and 'wifey' t-shirts I had made for us. We had planned on saving and going for a bigger honeymoon in the next few years. We enjoyed every minute of building our home together, decorating each room and talking about which would be our first baby's room. We decided to not go on our big honeymoon, as we thought maybe we'd want to start our family sooner. We hadn't been using any protection anyways while we were married, so let's just see what happens! I was in no particular rush! That month I was two days late for my period, I was mixed with fear and excitement. My periods were regular back then, a 28 day cycle and she always arrived on time. The test was negative, and tears filled my eyes. I wanted it to be positive, and I hadn't realised how much.
Six months into married life, my husband and I were walking around Budapest's Christmas market. Drinking mulled wine and buying trinkets, eating at every stall we could. We watched the families watch the advent countdown and my husband said "I can't wait to bring our kids here one day." It was then I decided it was definitely time to start our family, I turned to him and said "OK I'm ready to start trying properly now." We tried that night...and of course nothing happened!
When we had arrived home I had some health complications, and the doctor had suggested we start trying soon. Which was fine, as it was in our plans to do so. She also suggested due to my procedures if we hadn't conceived in six months to see the doctor. I am a mega worrier, I was worrying about a recent wedding I had coming up and whether the due date would be then. I stressed to my husband about work events, life events we had coming up. I bought every type of ovulation kit on the market. We tried to time it so I could be just pregnant for my maid of honour duties. It didn't happen.
Months and months and months went by. I did about three pregnancy tests each month. Honestly, it's a cruel painful addiction taking the test and you just can't help yourself. I dread to think how much I have spent on all the ttc (trying to conceive) gadgets. Trying for a baby at the best of times is a pricey business. The basic package of ttc starts with supplements, vitamins, ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. The intermediate package may include supplements, vitamins, ovulation tests, sperm friendly lube, books, another ovulation kit in case the first doesn't work, reflexology, acupuncture. The professional package includes all of the intermediate package however you probably tried some voo doo shit too and are now forking out for IUI, IVF, a surrogate, adoption.
I am able to say, we are now on our way to the 'professional' package. In October we were referred to a fertility clinic. We were given the best support, we have had multiple tests run. Some tests showed I have polycystic ovaries, and very likely to have endometriosis. My right ovary is stuck by the side of my womb and it has fewer follicles than my left free floating happy ovary. My husband too has a lower sperm count than normal. So double whammy!
Just. Relax. The worst words you can say to an infertile person.
I am documenting our journey to our little blue moon baby, mostly for myself and maybe to one day help others who are going through the same thing we are.
You see, my life didn't all turn out exactly as I'd have liked it to. There's been challenges along the way that have been overcome head on. Things I could fix, problems I could solve by being the pro active can do kinda girl I am. This, however knocked me for six. It would seem we can't get pregnant naturally.
Let's take a few steps back, to age 12 when I started my first period. My periods were always incredibly painful, so much so at the age of 14 I was taken to the doctors. A year or so later, the doctor suggested I could have endometriosis. The condition where the lining grows outside of your womb. My Mum at the time dismissed it, declaring I was too young and not to worry too much about it. So, I took the advice and just coped with my period thinking this is how they're meant to be.
Years later after some seriously dodgy results from a smear, I had to have part of my cervix removed at the age of 25. The nurses asked "Didn't you ever bleed randomly? Have pain during sex?" I said yes to all the above, but over the years doctors had turned me away or shoved more birth control at me. I had made the conscious effort to stay off birth control from the age of 22 as hormones do not agree with me at all. Every time I would go to the doctors, they'd literally try and force hormones down my throat. "If you just took the pill you'd feel better." I knew the pill had just been masking what was going on.
When I stopped the pill, my life changed for the better. I was better mentally, happier and a lot less anxious. I had lost weight and the best part was my migraines had stopped. Whenever I mentioned the random bleeds in between cycles or pain during sex it was shrugged off. I was told this was "normal." It's not, just so you know.
Years on the fairy tale began, I got married to a wonderful man at the age of 27 and we began our lives together. We did all the classic things newlyweds did, we went on our mini honeymoon to Portugal donning cringe worthy 'hubby' and 'wifey' t-shirts I had made for us. We had planned on saving and going for a bigger honeymoon in the next few years. We enjoyed every minute of building our home together, decorating each room and talking about which would be our first baby's room. We decided to not go on our big honeymoon, as we thought maybe we'd want to start our family sooner. We hadn't been using any protection anyways while we were married, so let's just see what happens! I was in no particular rush! That month I was two days late for my period, I was mixed with fear and excitement. My periods were regular back then, a 28 day cycle and she always arrived on time. The test was negative, and tears filled my eyes. I wanted it to be positive, and I hadn't realised how much.
Six months into married life, my husband and I were walking around Budapest's Christmas market. Drinking mulled wine and buying trinkets, eating at every stall we could. We watched the families watch the advent countdown and my husband said "I can't wait to bring our kids here one day." It was then I decided it was definitely time to start our family, I turned to him and said "OK I'm ready to start trying properly now." We tried that night...and of course nothing happened!
When we had arrived home I had some health complications, and the doctor had suggested we start trying soon. Which was fine, as it was in our plans to do so. She also suggested due to my procedures if we hadn't conceived in six months to see the doctor. I am a mega worrier, I was worrying about a recent wedding I had coming up and whether the due date would be then. I stressed to my husband about work events, life events we had coming up. I bought every type of ovulation kit on the market. We tried to time it so I could be just pregnant for my maid of honour duties. It didn't happen.
Months and months and months went by. I did about three pregnancy tests each month. Honestly, it's a cruel painful addiction taking the test and you just can't help yourself. I dread to think how much I have spent on all the ttc (trying to conceive) gadgets. Trying for a baby at the best of times is a pricey business. The basic package of ttc starts with supplements, vitamins, ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. The intermediate package may include supplements, vitamins, ovulation tests, sperm friendly lube, books, another ovulation kit in case the first doesn't work, reflexology, acupuncture. The professional package includes all of the intermediate package however you probably tried some voo doo shit too and are now forking out for IUI, IVF, a surrogate, adoption.
I am able to say, we are now on our way to the 'professional' package. In October we were referred to a fertility clinic. We were given the best support, we have had multiple tests run. Some tests showed I have polycystic ovaries, and very likely to have endometriosis. My right ovary is stuck by the side of my womb and it has fewer follicles than my left free floating happy ovary. My husband too has a lower sperm count than normal. So double whammy!
I made the joke that maybe if we tried at a certain time covered in crystals when the blue moon had risen in the sky, maybe we'd get pregnant. Hence the name of our blog. We are 18 months into our journey and due to start IVF in February, we have one round free. After that it's up to us how we find the money to fund it. But no pressure!!! Just relax!!!
Just. Relax. The worst words you can say to an infertile person.
I am documenting our journey to our little blue moon baby, mostly for myself and maybe to one day help others who are going through the same thing we are.
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