Sh*t People Say

I like to think in this photograph of the SATC girls Miranda is saying something to the crew like "So then the bitch told me to relax and I'd get pregnant." Samantha's like, "WTF dude that's not an OK thing to say." Carrie's laughing 'cause can't relate she's a single pringle who cba with the kids thing. Charlotte's smiling sweetly thinking "Oh honey, it's only going to get worse from here..."

I'm damn Charlotte at this moment in my life, smiling at my friends and people I meet. Not wanting to tell them too much about all the hurtful and annoying comments people will be making about their journey. Or the fact you have to share such intimate details of your life that you would never share with anyone. Welcome darlings to the world of infertility, a club that no one really wants to be part of. 

I'm going to try and prepare you somewhat, using real life things people have said to me. I'll also try and school you on what you're response should be, and how to not give too much of your emotions to them. It's hard, but you can do it sister! 

Names changed for obvious reasons.

Shit People Say:

•  " Just go on holiday."-Yep, done that. Didn't work.
•  "My friend knows someone who knows someone who knows someone that got pregnant drunk and on crack. So don't worry about your diet!"- Bad advice! Everyone is different and who wouldn't want to prep their bodies for the biggest journey of their life?
• " Emma was just about to start her IVF and then the month before she was pregnant!"-Good for Emma, so happy for her. I hope I could be too but 24 months of this shit somehow I'm not as optimistic.
•  "If it's meant to be, then it'll be."- NOPE! So what bitch I'm not getting pregnant just because I'm not MEANT to be a Mum?! So should I lay here and not do anything and be like "Well if it's meant to be I'll create Jesus."
•  " If you were meant to get pregnant then you would be."- See above, bitch.
•  "You're boring now.- This is due to not drinking as much, going out as much and staying out until stupid O'clock. 
•  "I want to carry your baby for you."- A sweet sentiment, however a hurtful reminder that I may not be able to carry my own.
• "IVF just isn't natural. I'm worried for you."- Bitch I'm worried for me too you think I want to inject myself with hormones 'cause newsflash I do not!
• "Who's fault is it?"- Who's fault is what? Oh the infertility...take a seat and let me explain my vagina to you.
•  "I think you're not getting pregnant because you drink coffee."- Great! It's my fault!
•  "You shouldn't be depressed."-OK thanks, the ups and downs tests and ops kind of do that to you.
•  "You're not infertile."- I have 5 doctors, a few nurses and experts who can tell ya otherwise!
•  " You've just got to keep positive."- *Cuts clown smile onto face* Happy now!? Allow me to feel how I feel, there's a valid reason I'm beat down.
• "You should just be happy to be around pregnant women and children. They're a blessing."- Yes but also, it's not that easy to be surrounded by the thing you want the most.
• "If you try doggy style the sperm gets in there quicker."- Thanks Mum! 
•  "I know someone who knew a couple who had the wrong embryo placed back inside. Then they had the baby and it wasn't theirs."- OK I wasn't nervous enough?
•  "What if all your eggs die and it doesn't work?"- Dunno I cry until I can pay for the next round?
• "Infertility isn't an illness."- Yup it is. 

The list could go on and on, and I could add to it but I won't. I'll be honest, looking at some of the things said to me just cements the fact that I am one tough cookie. To take all this and go through infertility, it's not easy! 

So, what should you say when someone says something like this to you? Take a deep breath, remember they do not know the true you. They do not know what you have faced and are yet to face, and probably couldn't handle half the stuff you have had to.

Simply say, "Thank you, but that is not helpful to me on my journey."

Or just run away and scream, your choice.

Love,

Blue moon girl x