Surviving The Holidays
Last night was the first time in a while I went out and didn't feel like an infertile person. It was fantastic! The Christmas works do was last night and I allowed myself to have a few drinks and let loose. Not just let loose, but be my fun non work self. I glammed myself up to the max, I may not have this figure next year. I danced and attempted to twerk and really stopped giving a shit. I think once you go through so much crap as an adult you care less about what others think and are braver to show your true self. I really enjoyed it.
The holidays can be the shittest time for us lot. Surrounded by family members and their families, and of course tons of kids everywhere. If you don't mind being around kids, then great. If like me you sometimes struggle that's fine too. Hopefully family members can be supportive and understand why you may not see them as much.
Also seeing family members who know the situation and having to relay the story again and again to everyone you see. While this can be good as you receive support, it also can begin an onset of people saying the wrong thing. People may use this as an opportunity to discuss their own experiences. Mentioning it once is fine, but at times people may continuously refer back to their bad experiences when trying to conceive. Hearing about still births and operations gone wrong can really put you in a negative mindset. You often feel the horror and sympathy for the person, and it makes you worry more about your end goal. When you're trying the last thing you need is more stress and worry. You just need positivity at hard times like this and a listening ear. It's a mentally and physically exhausting time.
Some people have decided not to tell anyone what's happening, and that can be hard too. You might see relatives that you haven't seen in a while and they bring with them a barrage of questions. "So when are you two having a baby?" I have been guilty of this at times, prodding newlyweds and others. Now going through the journey myself I can completely understand why this isn't an OK question to ask. If you haven't told your family yet, I hope you have some sort of network and a supportive partner.
My biggest tip for the holidays is just protect yourself. Don't worry about offending or upsetting anyone too much, easier said than done I know. You can't keep everyone happy, and at this time keeping yourself happy is hard enough. Make your own traditions and celebrate however you feel comfortable. See the people you have time to see, and don't stress about the rest. Really, it's just another week with more added pressure.
People around ttc'ers: Be mindful about what you're saying and how you say it. Don't put pressure on your friends/family members. They're going through the roughest ride, just be there to support them and listen. Try and be as understanding as you can be having not or having been through the experience. Don't give advice or antidotes unless asked.
Merry Christmas,
Blue Moon Girl x
The holidays can be the shittest time for us lot. Surrounded by family members and their families, and of course tons of kids everywhere. If you don't mind being around kids, then great. If like me you sometimes struggle that's fine too. Hopefully family members can be supportive and understand why you may not see them as much.
Also seeing family members who know the situation and having to relay the story again and again to everyone you see. While this can be good as you receive support, it also can begin an onset of people saying the wrong thing. People may use this as an opportunity to discuss their own experiences. Mentioning it once is fine, but at times people may continuously refer back to their bad experiences when trying to conceive. Hearing about still births and operations gone wrong can really put you in a negative mindset. You often feel the horror and sympathy for the person, and it makes you worry more about your end goal. When you're trying the last thing you need is more stress and worry. You just need positivity at hard times like this and a listening ear. It's a mentally and physically exhausting time.
Some people have decided not to tell anyone what's happening, and that can be hard too. You might see relatives that you haven't seen in a while and they bring with them a barrage of questions. "So when are you two having a baby?" I have been guilty of this at times, prodding newlyweds and others. Now going through the journey myself I can completely understand why this isn't an OK question to ask. If you haven't told your family yet, I hope you have some sort of network and a supportive partner.
My biggest tip for the holidays is just protect yourself. Don't worry about offending or upsetting anyone too much, easier said than done I know. You can't keep everyone happy, and at this time keeping yourself happy is hard enough. Make your own traditions and celebrate however you feel comfortable. See the people you have time to see, and don't stress about the rest. Really, it's just another week with more added pressure.
People around ttc'ers: Be mindful about what you're saying and how you say it. Don't put pressure on your friends/family members. They're going through the roughest ride, just be there to support them and listen. Try and be as understanding as you can be having not or having been through the experience. Don't give advice or antidotes unless asked.
Merry Christmas,
Blue Moon Girl x
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